Monday, 4 January 2016

Talavera 1809 - The Unhistorical Re-fight 2015

 Well, what can I say? You leave the room for five minutes and a fight breaks out! Spaniards get all Glaswegian and stick the head in the Poles! You join us for the second day of the punch up at Talavera. The night attack didn't go according to the rules and so set up a ding dong for the next day. This is what happened....
Daddy Hill got up the height before the clash (the supporting act to Napoleon dynamite)
"Badges?! We don' need no steenkin badges!"
 Everybody was there...Colin having converted his heart out to make sure, along with artist formerly known as Kraken Man, that some of the units that were there were actually represented in plastic...we could have done with badges to tell them apart. Colin will have to add an addendum.
 Many a brave...er...whatever they are, prepared for the off that day.
 Even some of these...
 ...and the 1st Regimento of Jaundiced Lancers...
 Victor, before publishing the comic he would be famous for, massed his might on the right...
 ...but kept Levels Division of , well basically the UN, under wraps
 Down in the cultivated groves of lemon like giant olives Dragoons recce the Spanish screening the town itself...
 Off we jolly well go!
 Here we jolly well stand...
"Ok, who put chilli's on my saddle?"
 The Pas d'charge sounds as the signal to advance is given
 The Spanish Militia advance...er...hang on, this isn't right.
 The Brits take a pasting...
"Stop sniggering and fire the rest of the chilli's at the enemy"
 Gunnery is hot today...
 Plenty of cavalry present...not sure this battlefield is big enough....
 The General staff watch the action and order up some pop corn
 ...the messenger gets to Cuesta with the order but can only send tacos...
 Meanwhile, Level's Division advances towards the groves hoping to flow through to surprise the enemy.
 The Poles are keen...
 Oddly, though, so are the Spanish...
 ...especially the Beckham Regiment...(don't worry, Colin will tell you who everybody is)
 ...The Commissionaire Regiment was next....
 ...followed by this lot...
 ...and the famous [enter name here] Regiment. All glorious stuff really.
 Ah, yes, these I recognise, the flag is a dead give away....
 Overall there was a fair lot of stuff flying about. Someone could have their eye out!
 Historically the Spanish on this flank should have been negotiating a free transfer to Paris St Germane but instead they got really quite bolshie with the French after the cavalry not only charged but appeared to levitate!
 The French infantry didn't go to square because it wasn't threatened...
 ...instead it advanced...
 ...very funny guy's, you pop out to answer the call of the wild and this sort of thing happens...
 At the forward edge of the GM crops, the skirmish line marks the way forward for the columns
 ...and the gunners try to get a bead on the other side...but can't so far..
Unfortunately, for the French, a hasty redoubt has been thrown up (must have been something they ate) and a battery placed behind it.
 Tricky.
 Uphill things look grim.
 ...but the Spanish are confident...
 Enter the Dragons, the 18th to 23rd Bruce Lee Regiments (or something similar)
 Oh dear, this isn't supposed to happen at all.
 ...but this is. The Regiments of Levels Division march forward to glory!
 All kinds of Germans, Nassau'ers and Poles...vie l'whats-his-name!
 Looking good...
 ...still confident...they take the redoubt but are swept from the field by the mighty Spanish Militia! (not pictured to protect the sensibilities of the artist formerly know as Kraken Man)
 Aha! Levitating French cavalry! Nothing upsets the Spaniards more! At this point the French should have fallen into the ravine as the British should have done as per the day, if they had charged, which they didn't. The ravine wasn't modelled for the reason of giving the 'Generals' their head but it didn't work as the Umpire was wellied...er...too busy to notice. The KGL in the actual battle saw the danger and pulled up short of the drop but the British didn't...and took 50% casualties but forcing the French to square...hence this time 'levitating French cavalry' going the other way. (No sniggering please)
 Thus activated the Spanish surge forward

 The scrap begins...
 ...more of Bruce Lee's Division levitate in support...
The climax of the battle approaches and it looks evens so far...perhaps even favouring the French a little? But we have no time to find out. The Carriage awaits to take us to the restaurant...so

...there will be a re-fight of the re-fight. So, gentle reader, watch this space.