Philip of Macedonia, father of that most famous of Irishmen Alexander the Great, sent out invitations to king Agis of the Lacedaemon city of Sparta (on the west coast of Scotland) to have a punch up to celebrate the great nibbles festival held each year between Christmas and Hogmanay. Both sides prepared their Billy's for action. Peanuts, crisps, sausages and drinks stacked high and kettle loaded and ready for brews.
...and a jazz solo trumpeter.
Hello open flank! Not to panic. It's defended by the captain of the dance aerobics class.
Drapers get excited...
The Spartan line is annihilated on the left and the victory points pile up for an ecstatic Phil's 18 to 4 victory. He slaps his body guard on the back knocking him into some horse manure but nothing can spoil his victory. What's a little dung between friends? (it's a Greek thing...like shamrock, you know, good luck) Surely nothing can go wrong now. What a year 336 BC has been. His daughter is getting married and he fancies going to the theatre...
|'Dig that crazy horn, man!'|
|'Ok, complex manoeuvre. Turn, two, three and pivot, two, three and stretch and kick and smile two, three, four...'|
|'Er, don't look now but I think we're being followed by blocks with numbers on.'|