Monday, 31 December 2012

It's all Greek to me - The Christmas game

Philip of Macedonia, father of that most famous of Irishmen Alexander the Great, sent out invitations to king Agis of the Lacedaemon city of Sparta (on the west coast of Scotland) to have a punch up to celebrate the great nibbles festival held each year between Christmas and Hogmanay. Both sides prepared their Billy's for action. Peanuts, crisps, sausages and drinks stacked high and kettle loaded and ready for brews.

Phil had quite a contingent of heavy cavalry on his right flank.
 The units were quite unusually spread.
 The main battle lines were solid infantry for 15 feet....
 Phalangites in their deep ranked pike blocks...
 ...flanked by allied Hoplite's and preceded by Javelins...
 ... slinger's and Peltasts...
'Dig that crazy horn, man!'
 ...and a jazz solo trumpeter.
 The rules system was Armati (so, role well and live!) which was well known to Alexander.
 The allied cavalry (in the Costa del Sol sombreros) were no real match for the Macedonian heavies...
 ..although the Spartan cavalry won the dog meat handicap...
 Macedonian allied Hoplite infantry (of the Greek Union of Drapers) edged forward not keen for the head on clash.
 Equally, the Spartan army held back hoping the phalanx line might become disordered on the slope of the gentle hill in front of them. But it didn't happen. The Spartans should have thrown everything into the initial assault utilising their heavy infantry advantage...
 The Spartan right wing cowered before the mighty light infantry?!!!
 Meanwhile, the Phalangites got bolder after the news of the Macedonian cavalry filtered through to them.
 The heavies had taken the enemy in the rear...typical Greek tactic...
 ...surrounded them and done them to death. Alexander's been shown which end of the sword is pointy and there's no stopping him now...
 Biff...
Bash...
 Bosh...End of Spartan allied cavalry. Alexander has read the rules and is winning the battle for his father.
'Ok, complex manoeuvre. Turn, two, three and pivot, two, three and stretch and  kick and smile two, three, four...'
 Hello open flank! Not to panic. It's defended by the captain of the dance aerobics class.
 The main battle line hasn't met and it look suspiciously like it's all over.
 Still, never say die...just let it happen.
 Phil gets a move on.
 Sparta still hesitating...
 Phil gets the forward slope...
 Finally, Spartan flank begins its move.
'Advance...pelmets'
 Drapers get excited...
 Spartan allies having second thoughts...
 ...but the line's now moving so off we go...
 The clash happens in the worst place for the Spartans as the Macedonia's have the 'uphill' advantage (another Greek tactic)
 ...careful, you'll have someone's eye out with that...assault and battery begins in earnest.
 The end of the Spartan line cannot keep the cavalry at bay.
 At the other end the line fractures as it tries to conform to the enemy advance...
'Er, don't look now but I think we're being followed by blocks with numbers on.'
The Spartan line is annihilated on the left and the victory points pile up for an ecstatic Phil's 18 to 4 victory. He slaps his body guard on the back knocking him into some horse manure but nothing can spoil his victory. What's a little dung between friends? (it's a Greek thing...like shamrock, you know, good luck) Surely nothing can go wrong now. What a year 336 BC has been. His daughter is getting married and he fancies going to the theatre... 

2 comments:

  1. A great looking game mate. All the best for the dung thing!

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  2. Ta muchly. A good time was had by all. The jokes flew thick and fast, but mainly thick. Happy New Year to you and yours.

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