Big Al and the Macedonian pike blocks...a well known jazz combo from Asia Minor, re fought their famous after hours set too with local unappreciative aficionados at the 'Hugh's All Weather Stadium and Grill' on Tuesday night. Our on-the-spot reporter sent us this thrilling account of the occasion.
The rule set was FOG and the sponsor was Hugh's Pasties...
Remember - 'Hugh'll never forget Hugh's Pasties'
"Enter the forces for tonight's mighty contest. Masses of Phalangites waving their 16ft pikes making the Greek Hoplite mercenaries feel somehow inadequate.."
Cavalry in great quantity ranged along the flanks boosting the prospects for rose sellers next season and causing sandal scrapers to soar in price...
|'Keep running, that cavalry ain't stopping'|
|'...and I say the temple cost a fortune so we take it with us....'|
|'O King Darius...a message from your wife and mother-in-law...you're doing it all wrong, you should.....'|
"The Persians at the ocean side destroyed the Paionian and Prodromoi Light Cavalry and went on to rout the Thracian Peltasts and scattered the Macedonian light troops.
The one negative was the Thessalians defeated a Persian Heavy Cavalry unit and crossed the river."
"On the Macedonian Right Flank the Royal Corps of Companions and the Hupaspists attacked with mixed success. after a long fight against superior numbers, the companions defeated the cavalry against them and crossed the river. The Hupaspists faced the Persian Kardakes and were ground down to defeat. A unit of Persian cavalry almost forced a crossing but were held by Thracian Peltasts (who were on the point of breaking).
"In the centre 5 regiments of phalanx after a while ground down the Greek Mercenary Hoplites who were holding the riverbank opposite."
|'Oi careful! You'll have somebody's eye out with that.'|
"In the steep hill inland light troops fought each other to a stalemate with little threat to each other."
|'What a moment to find out you've won the lottery'|
"Importantly, the Thessalians manoevred round the flank of the last Hoplite unit and were about to charge it in the rear!"
"So, lots of action and casualties on both sides. On balance, I would give it as an expensive victory to the Macedonians, since at the end, the 5 regiments of Phalanx were bearing down on Darius who was about to bail out of his chariot and ride off to build up a new army, leaving his Mother, Wife and family to the mercy of Alexander, (just like the real thing)."
With many thanks to Hugh and family for their kind hospitality.